Wednesday, February 01, 2006

From a Jihadist to a Human--conclusion

The Gospel changed me, totally. I was changed – I was feeling different. I don't claim that all who read the Gospel feel that, but I did. Now I didn't hate. Not at all, the Jews that used to be my worst enemies (as they are to all Moslems, Mohammed taught this in the Koran) were now my best buddies. I was saying 'shalom' in the chat rooms making new friends with the Jews. And I found out that they were humans too and not 'pigs' as the hadiths call them. I made friends with Christians too and now my best buddy is a Christian who lives in the US -- a country I was taught was the 'Great Satan' helping the 'Zionists' take the world over' – but how great I found the US to be. A country that teaches what the word freedom means. From 1620 till today it has lived for only one thing, freedom – for its own citizens and for others.

With my newfound insight, I decided to convert to Christianity. I went to this evangelist near my house. He told me a lot more about Christianity – he was very helpful – never did he force me to convert in a hurry. In fact he told me to take my time to decide. After about two years of study with this guy – I got baptized at a church in another town. The evangelist told me not to visit the church in my hometown because that could threaten other Christians living in that area (as a Moslem converting to Christianity could fuel violence against the Christians too). So I couldn’t go to church. I couldn’t meet with Christians – the only person I met with was the evangelist and that too once a month.

I wanted freedom for myself – I wanted to worship God my way. But it simply wasn’t possible in Pakistan. I felt tortured – I felt pain – I couldn’t follow my God – I had to listen to all those words against my religion and I couldn’t say anything in defense. I was helpless.

Recently my dad called and said that he had decided that I was moving to Dubai to finish my studies at a very prestigious institution. I am 20 now, old enough in his view to attend an institution of higher learning. I was happy because I was told that Dubai was heaven, that it ‘promoted freedom and it respected people from all backgrounds’. I left for Dubai hoping that I would get the freedom I was longing for so long. But when I arrived here, I found out that the freedom in Dubai was another lie, told by Moslems about another Moslem state.

Dubai does sell itself to the western world as a free state, but it actually isn’t. There are intelligence people all around you, listening to what you say all the time – keeping a close eye on what you do. Saying anything against Islam is prohibited in the UAE just like it is in Saudi Arabia. The only difference is that they don’t kill you for it – they put you in jail, fine you, and then deport you. Yes, it is free but only if you stay in the limits and boundaries provided to you by Islam. The same goes with all Islamic nations. It is Islam around me all over again and I feel suffocated.

Moving from Saudi Arabia to Pakistan and from there to Dubai – it happened fast – but now when I look back it all feels like – to put it in one of my friends’ words – ‘moving from one prison cell into another.’ This is Islam for you – the so called ‘religion of peace’. There are many ways to enter its clutches but the only way out of it is death. I still feel tortured – I still feel pain – I can’t follow my God and I still have to listen to those words against my religion. However I take these words and bear the pain because I know there is a way out for me. That’s why I am writing this testimony that no one goes through what I am going through today because – take my word for it – it is hell – it is worse than hell. There are better things out there.

This is my life – I don’t know where it is going to take me from here. But I am certain about one thing – I am never going back to Islam because I know I can do better. If I wanted to convert for mere money, as many have accused me of, then I would have stayed a Moslem. Why? Because I get every material need satisfied by my family, everything that I could ever want or need – I only have to ask for it, and it’s there for me a moment later. But am I willing to continue walking in the footprints of the murderous megalomaniac Mohammed, the man who made himself god? No, and I never will – no matter what the price.

‘Blind faith might prevail in the end, but I hope that some eyes are opened and hearts uncovered during this journey of life.’

20 comments:

American Crusader said...

That was a great series. It is definitely worth taking the time to read it from start to end.

eyesallaround said...

Another beautiful post!

John Sobieski said...

AA, I would tell you that patience is a great thing at this time. You are young. Planning for a different future is today's challenge and for you, my friend, a brighter life is clearly ahead of you.

If you have never read any Ben Franklin quotes, I would recommend you google him. America was blessed at its creation with leaders like Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Adams and Franklin and many others. Each wrote extensively and Franklin is considered the common sense scholar among them.

'He that can have patience can have what he will.'
Benjamin Franklin

Ben Franklin Quotes

maccusgermanis said...

That is a powerful and informing testimony.

Avenging Apostate said...

Thanks for that. another thing that moslems should notice, Franklin's words are more powerful, deep and intelligent than mohammed whom they call a prophet. If they have brains to think they should think about this. If a normal human being who never claimed to be a prophet is better than one who claimed to be the best prophet ever - that means there is something fishy in the latter's claim. Question him!

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Franklin

Hence we keep marching on.

Always On Watch said...

Apostate,
Saying a prayer for you right now and praising God for your testimony.

Pim's Ghost said...

AA--this was an amazing read! I had wondered about your story for some time now. Thank you for sharing. I was not a Muslim, but last year I too was so affected by the Gospels as to convert (back) to Christianity. A very human story, as you bring up in the title. Beautiful!

behind-the-scenes said...

Terrific story. You told it very well. It was really moving and informative.
The only problem is that it's too short. You really should develop it into a small book. More on your childhood, more on your feelings, more background detail. I'd get that book and so would many many others. However, don't turn it into an actual diatribe against Islam/Muslims or into a theological text or a guide, exhorting people to embrace Christianity. Just tell your story and what you saw. You do it fantastically and I don't throw around this type of compliment to just anyone:)

A.

Emarati Apostate said...

I am a UAE national arab who became an apostate while studying in Australia. I visited faithfreedom.org one night to learn more about what other people think about Islam only to find out the truth.. I couldnt bare it for a few days. I loved being a Muslim. growing up in Dubai with an open-minded family I wasnt brainwashed like most pakistanis and Saudis are in their childhood.
Now for the past 4 years ive a life of lies by pretending to be a muslim in front of everyone. because I can never sacrifice my life in Dubai and my family just for my beliefs. that would be very selfish of me. I am happy living a lie because my family is not religious and I dont feel pressured like you do.. what DOES shock me about your story is your convertion to Christianity, the whole POINT of being an apostate is to understand that ALL RELIGIONS ARE MAN-MADE! christianity is as fake as Islam as any other religion out there. I DO beleive in God but you leaving a fake religion to join another makes no sense. but hey whatever rocks your boat.. just dont expect to wake up in heaven like the bible promises you.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed the story very much. You write well. Congratulations on escaping, intellectually, from Islam. Now, I wish you the best on escaping from Christianity and the God-myth altogether, and realizing that Christianity is just as hostile to reason -- and thus to man -- as any other religion. The period of Christian theocracy is referred to as the Dark Ages, and for good reason. The great mass of people really did live like pigs, in poverty, and didn't begin to escape until reason remerged at the Renaissance and recalled the rationality of the Greeks. Religion cannot and should not stand against reason, but every person chooses one or the other.

Anonymous said...

Hey,
That was a FANTASTIC testimony. As for Christianity, I think you made a great choice. I'm not saying other religions are bad choices, but I hope that Christianity has touched your life like it has touched mine. Half of my family is Christian, the other half is athiest. I grew up in the church, but I also had a rebellion period. I was miserable during that period even though I thought it would be so much better. I've come back to God and for the first time in a while I've felt whole again.

As for reason, religion doesn't necessarily have to go against reason. In fact, I believe it goes right along with it. The Bible, for instance, is an extremely historically accurate book. It has been written based on accurate eye witness testimonies and has historical and geological evidence to back it up. Also, over 99% of all bibles are the same (despite the different translations). This must mean that they are very accurate and identical to the original documents, or else there would be many versions saying completely different messages.

Anyway, I won't preach much more. But if you would like some interesting reading, try reading "The Case for Christ" and "The Case for Faith" by Lee Strobel. After reading them decide for yourself whether religion is reasonable or not.

Even if there is no true religion or god, I'd much rather live a full and spiritual life then one without meaning.
--Harley Rene 15, Michigan

McLaskie said...

Secularism is a "religion" too. The important thing is to be allowed to doubt; to ask questions. I grew up in a strongly secular environment and struggled with religion when God "spoke" to me in a similar way to AA's description. It is not necessary to give up religion altogether in order to be a thinking person.
AA's love of God is leading him to truth This should give us hope for the Islamic world.
Note that the protest posts died out before the end of AA's story Those that were posted were irrelevant, addressed no issues

Anonymous said...

I pray that millions of muslims follow in yopur footsteps.God Bless You!

Anonymous said...

A very interesting read, sitting here in Sweden and hearing about the madness we are importing with full force.

I would hope you'd use your experince and knowledge to tell other muslims... Perhaps not in a place where they kill you, but lets say in Europe. London for instance where you can live the way you want and still do much good to combat Islamo-Fascism.

PS. Don't tell your parents. They may kill you too, you know. Honorary Killings are plentyful unfortunately.

Thanks for sharing brother.

Anonymous said...

hey man i am also anti islam not anti muslim as i believe that they are victim of shrewdness of one person who become god by fooling million of ppl , great post but i wont go to extent of saying that US is great nation coz they have supported pakistan and taliban for their own gain

Bill said...

There are many "Christian" assemblies that profess the "truth" as their local, non-affiliated, minister presents it. All clerics are "non-affiliated" in that there is no central body, as is the case for all Protestants and Catholics. Any charismatic hitler wannabe can open up his mosque, unfailingly supported by wahabbis in Saudi Arabia, and suddenly you have a boatload of future jihadis!

My father died last October. He was diagnosed stage 4 lung cancer a week before Christmas in 2005. I called him in the eveing of the day he got the news. He was home alone, because my Mother had some commitment at their church, and he was fine with that. He had faith that he would bet over this 'cancer' thing. He was failing rapidly last August, when he turned 82, and told a doctor friend, a medical missionary in Nicaragua, that he couldn't figure out why his oncologist was giving up. He had heard that there were over 150 types of chemo, and he had had just 2 of them! He did not admit that he was going to die until less than a week before he died.

A neighbor, and good friend, visited Dad the day before he died. He asked Dad if he was ready to go, and Dad admitted that he was ready to die. He got communion that afternoon from his own pastor. The very next morning, Hospice told my mother that it was time to call in the family, as Dad was in his last hours. We all got to visit with Dad, he was totally lucid, we all got to have coherent conversation, even with my siblings and I knowing that he would be dead within 48 hours. He died late that same evening, only 15 minutes after I left with my kids.

I write this not without some lingering pain. Dad died knowing where he was going, knowing that he did not hurt anyone else, full of faith that we would be reunited in the future, and full of faith in where we would meet. He did not die with any hate in his heart (but plenty of morphine!) and he died with only a few family members with him, but no grandchildren. I have had many people tell me that it is common for such things, that people will hang on just a few minutes longer so that the youngest are spared the brutal last gasps.

The faith of my family, Baptists and Presbyterians (amazing we don't have any problem with that--EVER!!) tells us that God will reunite us in our time, but if we blow up others for any stupid reason--no reunion, only an eternity separated for Him.

A. said...

I just read your story. Very interesting!

I'm an infidel as well. I didn't grow up Muslim, so luckily I have no Muslim family and don't have to pretend to still be Muslim as many do.

Anisah

Hantu Laut said...

The only reason I reached this far is to see how far would you pull your bluff.

I am a Muslim and I don't really care about most religions, which I find do more harm than good to the human race.Many wars have been fought over religious belief and the biggest culprits are those from the Abrahamic
religion.Judaism,Christianity and Islam are the cause of past and the present conflicts in the Middle East.None of them are better than the other.The Arabs and Jews are of the same stock.The Christians have persecuted the Jews much earlier and longer than the Muslims.Even Shakespeare don't have kind words for the Jews, remember 'Merchant of Venice' and 'Macbeth'.Well, you probably don't read literature to know any better.

The only reason God(if he actually exists)sent down three religions to the same people in the same area was to tame them from the evil ways they must have lived before.Today, sadly, they still haven't change much.So, to say one religion is better than the other is ignorance and bigotry.

You may know a bit about Islam but I doubted you were a Muslim before.From your transcription it is of no doubt you are also not a student of history.

Maggie M. Thornton said...

Do I understand correctly that this was written in 2006?

No matter when it was written, this is commanding testimony and I am praising God for you and your ability to tell others your story in such a powerful way.

Avenging Apostate said...

Yes, it was written in 2006. Now that I read it again, I see I left out a lot of details. There is so much more that I could've said. However, I am keeping it like this for now because its simple and easier for people to understand.

Thanks for your support.