Sunday, December 16, 2007

The Pope makes an impact on Hillary Clinton

H/T Lee...thanks for the email

The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and cheering from every democrat at in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance, considers what he could do.

"That was impressive," he says. "But did you know that with just one little wave of MY hand...

I can make EVERY person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope hauled-off & slapped her!


Anonymous said...

Then there`s this one:

Hillary`s daughter Chelsea was interviewing a returning soldier:

Chelsea: Who are the 3 people you are most afraid of?

Soldier: Osama, Obama n yore mama.

Anonymous said...

More hahas:

"In an upcoming interview with the gay magazine The Advocate, Hillary Clinton says the rumors about her being a lesbian are not true and she says she's never had sex with a woman, no matter how many times Bill has begged her to." --Jay Leno

"Last week, it got a little dramatic. Senator Hillary Clinton called General Petraeus a liar. And believe this, if there's one thing she knows, it's how to spot a guy who's lying." --Jay Leno

"A new novelty item is now being sold. Get this, it's a Hillary Clinton nutcracker that cracks nuts between its legs. Yeah, Hillary calls the nutcracker silly, and Bill Clinton calls it chillingly lifelike"--Conan O'Brien

"The Washington Post reports that Senator Hillary Clinton is trying to win the Democratic nomination by reaching out to women. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'Oh sure, when she does it, it's okay.'" --Conan O'Brien

Anonymous said...

Bill Clinton steps out onto the White House lawn in the dead of winter. Right in front of him, on the White House lawn, he sees "The President Must Die" written in urine across the snow. Well, old Bill is pretty pissed off.

He storms into his security staff's headquaters and yells, "Somebody wrote a death threat in the snow on the front damn lawn! And they wrote it in urine! Son-of-a-bitch had to be standing right on the porch when he did it! Where were you guys?"

The security guys stay silent and stare ashamedly at the floor. Bill hollers, "Well dammit, don't just sit there! Get out and FIND OUT WHO DID IT! I want an answer, and I want it TONIGHT!"

The entire staff immediately jumped up and raced for the exits. Later that evening, his chief security officer approaches him and says, "Well Mr. President, we have some bad news, and we have some really bad news. Which do you want first?"

Clinton says, "Oh Hell, give me the bad news first." The officer says, "Well, we took a sample of the urine and tested it. The results just came back, and it was Al Gore's urine."

Clinton says, "Oh my god, I feel so ... so betrayed! My own vice president! Damn. Well, what's the really bad news?"

The officer replies, "Well, it's Hillary's handwriting."

Anonymous said...

TMZ obtained photos of presidential candidate Mitt Romney trying to win over grammatically challenged South Carolinians Thursday by holding a sign that said, "No to Obama, Osama and Chelsea's Moma."

Anonymous said...

Don't Have a Cow, Man

With her aura of inevitability diminishing, Hillary Clinton is resorting to ever more degrading campaign methods, the Associated Press reports from Dunlap, Iowa:

Standing atop a stage in a livestock auction barn, [Mrs.] Clinton likened the experience to her quest to woo undecided voters in the closing days before Iowa's pivotal caucuses.

I've been to cattle barns before and sales before, in Arkansas, but I've never felt like I was the one that was being bid on,'' Clinton told a crowd in western Iowa. ''I know you're going to inspect me. You can look inside my mouth if you want. I hope by the end of my time with you I can make the case for my candidacy and to ask you to consider caucusing for me.''

The Penn State Dairy Alliance has a helpful brochure for political humorists titled "Cow Sense: Hands-On Evaluation & Inspection." It reveals that the mouth inspection is to determine "fluid status," abnormalities of which can indicate "septic or toxic diseases, digestive diseases." No word on what they found when they inspected Saddam Hussein.