Monday, June 09, 2008

Are you a liberal, conservative, or a redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes
with you, screams obscenities and "Allahu Akbar!", raises the knife, and charges at
you.

You are carrying a loaded M1911 .45 ACP pistol, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:



Liberal's Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to
society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and
try to come to a consensus.



Conservative's Answer:


BANG!



Redneck's Answer:


BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver tips or hollow points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!!

2 comments:

Lergnom said...

Hi. First time reader, neat blog.
I wouldn't call myself a redneck, but groups of 8 before reloading sounds about right.
Minor nit - Silvertips are
hollowpoints.
Keep up the good work.

ANTIJIHAD said...

I'm not a redneck.. I'm an anti-jihadist yellowneck chink from the boondocks of Malaysia, waiting for my turn to release sarin on the jihadist assholes.

You left out a crucial step in the 3rd option, though - the mandatory kick in the balls with steel-toed boots. After 8 shots, walk up to that asshole and kick him in the balls while saying "Have your Allah to akbar this shit, Ali!!"

The next 8 shots should be point-blank shots.