Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Dearest Prime Minister...

Malaysia's Prime Minister aint too popular nowadays. Which may be something of an understatement.

The following was emailed to PI's inbox from one of our Malaysian readers. It is a letter supposedly sent recently to the Malaysian Prime Minister's website. I cannot vouch for the veracity of this information, but the letter is way too entertaining to ignore.

By the way, if you are offended by 'purple' language, I advise you to read no further.


Dearest Prime Minister...,


Since the disastrous March 8 elections, I haven't bothered attacking you much. Well, why should I when the Pakatan Rakyat, Raja Petra and your own Ministers are already doing such a thorough job. And oh, not forgetting all the salivating vultures waiting to push you down the UMNO ladder. There's also the issue of this bloody old mamak who used to be your boss... but that's a different story.

I may scorn at your intelligence (or lack thereof), amaze at the voodoo spell your Son In Law has you under, laugh at the blind arrogance of your Government and shake my head at your cluelessness in private, but as far as this blog is concerned, I took a break from whacking you and all that you stand for.

Well it ends today.

Coz I'm f*ckin'pissed.

Like REALLY motherf*ckin 'F*CK YOU B*STARD' sort of pissed, you backwater retard..!

Today I spent 2 hours caught in a f*ckin' traffic jam coming back from work. As I sat in the f*ckin' snarl watching' the faces of other drivers who looked like they were ready to break stuff, I realised that how every single f*ckin' thing that went wrong today all points at you.

Like a f*ckin' Night Shymalan movie or finale of LOST, everything is related and all dots connect to spell a F*CK YOU BN. Realisation hits me that the f*ckin' 2 hours of my life that I could NEVER get back boils down to one simple f*ckin' fact: The country got it SOOOO f*ckin' wrong in 2004 when they put you as the gaffer of this country.


How, you ask..? Shut the f*ckup and listen.

It rained today. REALLY heavy. As a result, all roads in Kuala Lumpur came to a stand still. Why? Is it because all cars in the capital of Malaysia is made out of paper and will disintegrate in the rain? F*ck, no.

Everything came to a halt because any downpour more than 15 minutes causes "flash floods" in the most traffic-heavy parts of the city. As fast as money disappears under Khir Toyo's administration, water levels will rise whenever it pours in KL. Causing many parts of the big city to become inaccessible. And jammed. Filled with angry motorists and stranded commuters.

We have a SMART Tunnel. Which "supposedly" helps to drain water out during floods. We have public transportation. Which "supposedly" means less vehicles on the road. We have megacriss-crossing highways littered with toll booths. Which “supposedly" provides easy access to different parts of Klang Valley.

But that's all our country is good for. Launching something and letting monkeys run it. NONE OF THOSE F*CKING THINGS WORK PROPERLY. Or at all. Is it so surprising? No. When they f*ckup the basics like having a proper drainage system so that water does not accumulate during heavy rainfall, what more can you expect?

Simply put, heavy rains are beyond our control. How we deal with it is not. Or shouldn't be.

F*ck all the talk about “winning the 5 States back" when you can't even address the problems blowing up in your own backyard one by f*cking one.

So with the f*cking rain causing enough havoc as it is ... then came the f*ckin' announcement that effective from 12am midnight, petrol prices will increase toRM2.70 a litre from RM1.92.

WHAT A F*CKING JOKE. They couldn't have timed it better. Only days ago one of the lackeys from the PM's office gave a press statement saying the prices will increase by August. PM himself said before earlier this year that there won't be a price hike.

But I guess we all know this is the same guy who CONVINCINGLY DECLARED on Tuesday that Parliament won't be dissolved on Wednesday when it actually did came the day.

If he was Pinocchio he could represent Malaysia in pole vaulting in Beijing using his blower only.

So right after the Govt assured us that petrol prices won't go up, it did. And the timing of it. Announcing it will go up tomorrow. It's like a man coming into a building shouting, "HEY GUYS RUN. I HAVE A BOMB AND ITS BLOWING IN A FEW SECONDS".

The announcement, as predicted, sparked a f*ckin frenzy on the roads. Every bloody motor owner drove out all their vehicles to quickly fill up their tanks while it's still pre-hike`price. This caused the laws of the jungle to quickly emerge as lines after f*ckin' lines zig-zagged into jam-packed petrol stations amidst the blaring of horns and cursing of profanities in a multitude of languages.

Snarling, bustling and frenzied traffic from every petrol station overflowed onto highways and unflooded roads already under massive burden of having to carry extra vehicles as a result of other flooded roads which become the link between a tired worker's office to his home.

The result?

A F*CKING ROYAL RUMBLE OF ROAD MADNESS which lasted 2 hours for me when it usually takes me 20-30 mins to reach home from office.

F*CK THE PETROL HIKE.! Unf*ckin believable jam is but the beginning. Inflation is bound to hit hard at everyone's pockets.

Granted the price of oil is escalating globally. Granted the American economy crisis is having some spillover effect to world economics.

But we're a F*CKING PETROL PRODUCING NATION!!! Like Saudi. It's 40cents a litre over there. We're a f*ckin nation that produces motherf*ckin' oil. OIL!! And yet we're saying we can't do anything. Simple economics dictates that if you PRODUCE OIL, and OIL prices go up, you GET BIGGER PROFITS DON'T YOU?!?!

Petronas rakes in billions EVERY f*ckin' year. Yet the government says it can't subsidise us without major cutbacks in other areas like healthcare and sh*t. F*CK YOU ALL. Just cutback on the kickbacks and under counter money and we'll have enough to subsidise petrol to be under RM1 per litre.

This is what happens whenyou take village-like, count-up-to-10-with-fingers fuckers to fill in top postsin the Government and Cabinet. This is what happens when you have a despotic party overstaying its fat stay at the top of the foodchain.

This is a f*ckin' joke I tell ya. First the price of flour. Then cooking oil. Then price of pork. Now petrol.


F*CK YOU, you and you. All of you.

YES BARISAN NASIONAL, UMNO and the ENTIRE Badawi Administration. This is your encore.


UPDATE: Having received a reminder from my coblogger (thanks Mark) on this post, I realised that I forgot my own self-imposed policy on profanity. I have edited the above post in accordance with that policy. Apologies to everyone, especially my co-bloggers, for any offense or inconvenience caused.


Anonymous said...



M Kumar said...

Isn't this Yu Jian's posting in early June on his own blog?